The good and the bad stuff for me with having an ASD

(autism challenge day 13 and 14)

Good Stuff
Visual thinking and good visual memory – It helps me with my artistic stuff and can sometimes help solving problems in a way others wouldn’t think of.

Feel very strongly about things I like – It gives me happiness, peace and have also been a source for finding friends.

Honest and reliable – Ofc I can lie sometimes, but that’s usually to protect someone. This trait is good ’cause it make people trust me and I like that.

Little prejudice – I don’t see the point in judging people after religion, ethicity etc ’cause all people are different. But ofc I have some prejudices.

High integrity – I stand for what I believe in. I may not shout it out, but I wouldn’t go against it either and I respect that others think differently then me (even if I don’t understand why).

Living in the moment – I’m born with mindfullness and often notice things others don’t due to that they think of other things then what they actually do or where they are.

Not driven by status or materialism – Ofc I want some materialistic stuff, but that’s usually ’cause it’s connected to my interests. But otherwise I couldn’t care less in having the ”right” phone, clothing, hairstyle, computer and so on. There is much more important stuff then things and status.

No underlying meanings – When I tell you something I mean what I say, nothing more or nothing less.

Bad Stuff
Different kind of thinking – Well it may help solving problems sometimesd, but it also makes it harder for me to understand others and others to understand me.

Unable to naturally understand social rules – Ofc I’ve learnt some during my life, but I still have to think about doing as right as possible. Very energy consuming.

Too honest – Sometimes people should lie when I don’t. And that have started some unpleasant situations for me more then just a couple of times.

Lack of ability to plan – I need routines and schedules to feel safe and calm and to be able to do the things I should, but I can’t make them myself and my lack of ability to plan also makes it harder for me to plan for the future.

Difficulties with expressing needs and wants – Sometimes it is ’cause I don’t know what to say and sometimes ’cause I don’t dare to ask for things and sometimes it’s ’cause I don’t understand I could ask for help.

Sensitive senses – This is actually one of my biggest problems. Very much of my energy goes to handle all sensory inputs and so much sensory things hurt me, things others don’t seem to notice.

Difficulties with answering abstract (and sometimes concrete) questions – Sometimes people think I’m stupid, not listening or grumpy when I can’t answer their questions and it’s very frustrating for me not being able to answer what they want to know.

Lack in understanding verbal instructions – Fortunatly you don’t get many verbal instructions after you finnish school, but I still have problems geting verbal instructions. I prefer written instructions where I get one thing at a time and not all at once, preferably with pictures/visual clues. No my IQ is not low I just function better with visual aids then verbal and written instructions.

Lack in using and understanding non-verbal expressions – This is one of the things that make me misunderstand others and others misunderstand me.

Difficulties with understanding and expressing my emotions – This is very frustrating. People seem to always know what they feel when I don’t. Usually I know it it’s good or bad, but not much more then that and sometimes I don’t even know that. And people sometimes think I’m emotionless just ’cause I don’t show what I feel in the right way. And that hurts, ’cause I’m definitly not emotionless, I feel very deeply and care greatly about others.

Feel little need to be with others – It’s not a problem for me, but others doesn’t seem to understand that I want to be alone and that I don’t feel much need to socialize. I just wish they could respect that I want to be alone most of the time. I like being alone.

Need for routine – If one of my routines gets disrupted I get very very anxious and it could destry the whole day (sometimes several days). The same goes for changes in plan/schedule.  Ofc I want change sometimes, but then the change come from me, not outside and the change have first been a though for sometime before it gets an action. But even this can sometimes make me anxious.

Repetitive behaviour – This vary fairly much, the worse I feel the more repetitive behaviours I get. Usually my repetitive behaviours are calming and make me feel in control. But it can also be very time consuming.

Stimming (short for self-stimulation) – Not a problem for me ’cause stimming is a way to express overwheliming emotions, bot good and bad ones, but others seem to take great offense in my stimming. So I try not to stim but that just makes me feeling worse ’cause I have to repress my emotions. I have some not so visually stims and they work partly anyway. But I would prefer doing my ”fullblown” stims.

So, I think that was all. If I remember something else I will add it later.

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