I just thought about something

This morning when I took my meds I thought about something.
I really must be really depressed.
I’ve mentioned the urge to take my own life, but I also just realized that my interests isn’t fun or relaxing anymore.
Instead I force myself to do them.
And my need for control is worse too plus my ability to understand talk.
But the psychiatry doesn’t seem to care anyway.
‘Cause when they asked if the things I like to do still is nice I said yes.
Well I guess they think, just like I do, that someone they can actually help can have better use for the place I had at the ward.
They said I was welcome if I felt worse, but I don’t think I actually can feel worse then I do and I did try to say that.
But then I don’t feel welcome there anymore anyway.

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